愛的真谛分享系列（1）“爱是恒久忍耐又有恩慈”，为什么爱需要忍耐？
“爱是恒久忍耐，又有恩慈；爱是不嫉妒；爱是不自夸，不张狂，不做害羞的事，不求自己的益处，不轻易发怒，不计算人的恶，不喜欢不义，只喜欢真理；凡事包容，凡事相信，凡事盼望，凡事忍耐。爱是永不止息。”
一、实例分享：大家分享1-3个你觉得爱中需不需要忍耐的例子？若认为需要，你是怎样忍耐的？
二、忍耐与冷战的区别：不要把忍耐与同人赌气时的不说话、不往来相混淆。
忍耐：用温柔盼望的心在等待。圣经中典型的例子如等待浪子回头的父亲的忍耐。
冷战：用带着恼怒怨恨的心不与对方接触、交流、往来。圣经里要我们不可含怒到日落，因此，冷战是显然违背圣经教导的。
三、圣经中中文用了“忍耐”二字的主要经文：
- 詩55:12-13原來不是仇敵辱罵我，若是仇敵，還可忍耐；也不是恨我的人向我狂大，若是恨我的人就必躲避他。13不料是你；你原與我平等，是我的同伴，是我知己的朋友! For it was not an enemy that reproached me; then I could have borne it: neither was it he that hated me that did magnify himself against me; then I would have hid myself from him. 13 But it was thou, a man mine equal, my guide, and mine acquaintance.
- 箴18:14 人有疾病，心能忍耐；心靈憂傷，誰能承當呢？ [kjv]The spirit of a man will sustain his infirmity; but a wounded spirit who can bear?
- 箴25:15 恆常忍耐可以勸動君王；柔和的舌頭能折斷骨頭。 By long forbearing is a prince persuaded, and a soft tongue breaketh the bone.
- 傳7:8 事情的終局強如事情的起頭；存心忍耐的，勝過居心驕傲的。 Better is the end of a thing than the beginning thereof: and the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit.
- 太10:22 並且你們要為我的名被眾人恨惡。惟有忍耐到底的必然得救。And ye shall be hated of all men for my name’s sake: but he that endureth to the end shall be saved.
- 太17:17 耶穌說：噯！這又不信又悖謬的世代啊，我在你們這裡要到幾時呢？我忍耐你們要到幾時呢？把他帶到我這裡來吧！Then Jesus answered and said, O faithless and perverse generation, how long shall I be with you? how long shall I suffer you? bring him hither to me.
- 太24:13 惟有忍耐到底的，必然得救。 But he that shall endure unto the end, the same shall be saved.
- 路8:15 那落在好土裡的，就是人聽了道，持守在誠實善良的心裡，並且忍耐著結實。 But that on the good ground are they, which in an honest and good heart, having heard the word, keep it, and bring forth fruit with patience.
- 路21:19 你們常存忍耐，就必保全靈魂（或作：必得生命）。 In your patience possess ye your souls.
- 羅2:4 還是你藐視他豐富的恩慈、寬容、忍耐，不曉得他的恩慈是領你悔改呢？Or despisest thou the riches of his goodness and forbearance and longsuffering; not knowing that the goodness of God leadeth thee to repentance?
- 羅3:25 神設立耶穌作挽回祭，是憑著耶穌的血，藉著人的信，要顯明神的義；因為他用忍耐的心寬容人先時所犯的罪，Whom God hath set forth to be a propitiation through faith in his blood, to declare his righteousness for the remission of sins that are past, through the forbearance of God
- 羅5:3 不但如此，就是在患難中也是歡歡喜喜的；因為知道患難生忍耐，And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience
- 羅5:4 忍耐生老練，老練生盼望；And patience, experience; and experience, hope
- 羅8:25 但我們若盼望那所不見的，就必忍耐等候。But if we hope for that we see not, then do we with patience wait for it.
- 羅9:22 倘若神要顯明他的忿怒，彰顯他的權能，就多多忍耐寬容那可怒預備遭毀滅的器皿，What if God, willing to shew his wrath, and to make his power known, endured with much longsuffering the vessels of wrath fitted to destruction
- 羅12:12 在指望中要喜樂，在患難中要忍耐，禱告要恆切。Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer
- 羅15:4 從前所寫的聖經都是為教訓我們寫的，叫我們因聖經所生的忍耐和安慰可以得著盼望。For whatsoever things were written aforetime were written for our learning, that we through patience and comfort of the scriptures might have hope.
- 羅15:5 但願賜忍耐安慰的神叫你們彼此同心，效法基督耶穌，Now the God of patience and consolation grant you to be likeminded one toward another according to Christ Jesus
- 林前13:4 愛是恆久忍耐，又有恩慈；愛是不嫉妒；愛是不自誇，不張狂，[bbe] Love is never tired of waiting; love is kind; love has no envy; love has no high opinion of itself, love has no pride;
- 林前13:7 凡事包容，凡事相信，凡事盼望，凡事忍耐。Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
- 林後6:4 反倒在各樣的事上表明自己是神的用人，就如在許多的忍耐、患難、窮乏、困苦、 But in all things approving ourselves as the ministers of God, in much patience, in afflictions, in necessities, in distresses
- 林後11:19 你們既是精明人，就能甘心忍耐愚妄人。For ye suffer fools gladly, seeing ye yourselves are wise.
- 林後11:20 假若有人強你們作奴僕，或侵吞你們，或擄掠你們，或侮慢你們，或打你們的臉，你們都能忍耐他。For ye suffer, if a man bring you into bondage, if a man devour you, if a man take of you, if a man exalt himself, if a man smite you on the face.
- 林後12:12 我在你們中間，用百般的忍耐，藉著神蹟、奇事、異能，顯出使徒的憑據來。 Truly the signs of an apostle were wrought among you in all patience, in signs, and wonders, and mighty deeds.
- 加5:22 聖靈所結的果子，就是仁愛、喜樂、和平、忍耐、恩慈、良善、信實、温柔、节制。But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, gentleness and self-control.
- 弗4:2 凡事謙虛、溫柔、忍耐，用愛心互相寬容，With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love
- 西1:11 照他榮耀的權能，得以在各樣的力上加力，好叫你們凡事歡歡喜喜的忍耐寬容；Strengthened with all might, according to his glorious power, unto all patience and longsuffering with joyfulness;
- 西3:12 所以，你們既是神的選民，聖潔蒙愛的人，就要存（原文作穿；下同）憐憫、恩慈、謙虛、溫柔、忍耐的心。Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering
- 帖前1:3 在神我們的父面前，不住的記念你們因信心所做的工夫，因愛心所受的勞苦，因盼望我們主耶穌基督所存的忍耐。Remembering without ceasing your work of faith, and labour of love, and patience of hope in our Lord Jesus Christ, in the sight of God and our Father
- 帖前5:14 我們又勸弟兄們，要警戒不守規矩的人，勉勵灰心的人，扶助軟弱的人，也要向眾人忍耐。Now we exhort you, brethren, warn them that are unruly, comfort the feebleminded, support the weak, be patient toward all men.
- 帖後1:4 甚至我們在神的各教會裡為你們誇口，都因你們在所受的一切逼迫患難中，仍舊存忍耐和信心。So that we ourselves glory in you in the churches of God for your patience and faith in all your persecutions and tribulations that ye endure:
- 帖後3:5 願主引導你們的心，叫你們愛神，並學基督的忍耐。And the Lord direct your hearts into the love of God, and into the patient waiting for Christ.
- 提前1:16 然而，我蒙了憐憫，是因耶穌基督要在我這罪魁身上顯明他一切的忍耐，給後來信他得永生的人作榜樣。Howbeit for this cause I obtained mercy, that in me first Jesus Christ might shew forth all longsuffering, for a pattern to them which should hereafter believe on him to life everlasting.
- 提前6:11 但你這屬神的人要逃避這些事，追求公義、敬虔、信心、愛心、忍耐、溫柔。 But thou, O man of God, flee these things; and follow after righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, meekness.
- 提後2:10 所以我為選民凡事忍耐，叫他們也可以得著那在基督耶穌裡的救恩和永遠的榮耀。 Therefore I endure all things for the elect’s sakes, that they may also obtain the salvation which is in Christ Jesus with eternal glory.
- 提後2:12 我們若能忍耐，也必和他一同作王；我們若不認他，他也必不認我們； If we suffer, we shall also reign with him: if we deny him, he also will deny us
- 提後2:24 然而主的僕人不可爭競，只要溫溫和和的待眾人，善於教導，存心忍耐， And the servant of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient,
- 提後3:10 但你已經服從了我的教訓、品行、志向、信心、寬容、愛心、忍耐，But thou hast fully known my doctrine, manner of life, purpose, faith, longsuffering, charity, patience
- 提後4:2 務要傳道，無論得時不得時，總要專心；並用百般的忍耐，各樣的教訓，責備人、警戒人、勸勉人。Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine.
- 多2:2 勸老年人要有節制、端莊、自守，在信心、愛心、忍耐上都要純全無疵。That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience.
- 來6:12 並且不懈怠，總要效法那些憑信心和忍耐承受應許的人。 That ye be not slothful, but followers of them who through faith and patience inherit the promises.
- 來6:15 這樣，亞伯拉罕既恆久忍耐，就得了所應許的。And so, after he had patiently endured, he obtained the promise.
- 來10:36 你們必須忍耐，使你們行完了神的旨意，就可以得著所應許的。For ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise.
- 來11:27 他因著信，就離開埃及，不怕王怒；因為他恆心忍耐，如同看見那不能看見的主。By faith he forsook Egypt, not fearing the wrath of the king: for he endured, as seeing him who is invisible
- 來12:1 我們既有這許多的見證人，如同雲彩圍著我們，就當放下各樣的重擔，脫去容易纏累我們的罪，存心忍耐，奔那擺在我們前頭的路程，Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us
- Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.
- 雅1:4 但忍耐也當成功，使你們成全、完備，毫無缺欠。But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.
- 雅5:7 弟兄們哪，你們要忍耐，直到主來。看哪，農夫忍耐等候地裡寶貴的出產，直到得了秋雨春雨。 Be patient therefore, brethren, unto the coming of the Lord. Behold, the husbandman waiteth for the precious fruit of the earth, and hath long patience for it, until he receive the early and latter rain.
- 雅5:8 你們也當忍耐，堅固你們的心；因為主來的日子近了。Be ye also patient; stablish your hearts: for the coming of the Lord draweth nigh.
- 雅5:10 弟兄們，你們要把那先前奉主名說話的眾先知當作能受苦能忍耐的榜樣。Take, my brethren, the prophets, who have spoken in the name of the Lord, for an example of suffering affliction, and of patience.
- 雅5:11 那先前忍耐的人，我們稱他們是有福的。你們聽見過約伯的忍耐，也知道主給他的結局，明顯主是滿心憐憫，大有慈悲。Behold, we count them happy which endure. Ye have heard of the patience of Job, and have seen the end of the Lord; that the Lord is very pitiful, and of tender mercy.
- 彼前2:20 你們若因犯罪受責打，能忍耐，有什麼可誇的呢？但你們若因行善受苦，能忍耐，這在神看是可喜愛的。For what glory is it, if, when ye be buffeted for your faults, ye shall take it patiently? but if, when ye do well, and suffer for it, ye take it patiently, this is acceptable with God.
- 彼後1:6 有了知識，又要加上節制；有了節制，又要加上忍耐；有了忍耐，又要加上虔敬；And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness;
- 彼後3:15 並且要以我主長久忍耐為得救的因由，就如我們所親愛的兄弟保羅，照著所賜給他的智慧寫了信給你們。 And account that the longsuffering of our Lord is salvation; even as our beloved brother Paul also according to the wisdom given unto him hath written unto you
- 啟1:9 我─約翰就是你們的弟兄，和你們在耶穌的患難、國度、忍耐裡一同有分，為神的道，並為給耶穌作的見證，曾在那名叫拔摩的海島上。I John, who also am your brother, and companion in tribulation, and in the kingdom and patience of Jesus Christ, was in the isle that is called Patmos, for the word of God, and for the testimony of Jesus Christ.
- 啟2:2 我知道你的行為、勞碌、忍耐，也知道你不能容忍惡人。你也曾試驗那自稱為使徒卻不是使徒的，看出他們是假的來。I know thy works, and thy labour, and thy patience, and how thou canst not bear them which are evil: and thou hast tried them which say they are apostles, and are not, and hast found them liars
- 啟2:3 你也能忍耐，曾為我的名勞苦，並不乏倦。And hast borne, and hast patience, and for my name’s sake hast laboured, and hast not fainted.
- 啟2:19 我知道你的行為、愛心、信心、勤勞、忍耐，又知道你末後所行的善事，比起初所行的更多。I know thy works, and charity, and service, and faith, and thy patience, and thy works; and the last to be more than the first.
- 啟3:10 你既遵守我忍耐的道，我必在普天下人受試煉的時候，保守你免去你的試煉。Because thou hast kept the word of my patience, I also will keep thee from the hour of temptation, which shall come upon all the world, to try them that dwell upon the earth.
- 啟13:10 擄掠人的，必被擄掠；用刀殺人的，必被刀殺。聖徒的忍耐和信心就是在此。He that leadeth into captivity shall go into captivity: he that killeth with the sword must be killed with the sword. Here is the patience and the faith of the saints.
- 啟14:12 聖徒的忍耐就在此；他們是守神誡命和耶穌真道的。Here is the patience of the saints: here are they that keep the commandments of God, and the faith of Jesus
圣经中不仅有这许多的直接用了忍耐二字的经文，而且我们上次分享的不可轻易发怒，以及圣经中许多要我们饶恕人的教导，这些也都是与忍耐直接相关。因此，可以说忍耐是圣经中十分强调的，是基督徒应有的一个重要品格。
太18：21-22那時，彼得進前來，對耶穌說：主啊，我弟兄得罪我，我當饒恕他幾次呢？到七次可以嗎？耶穌說：我對你說，不是到七次，乃是到七十個七次。
这样的饶恕毫无疑问需要先学会忍耐。
四、那我们为什么要学会忍耐？
上面的经文中我把相应的英文也查出放在了一起。之所以这样做，是因我发现中文圣经中“忍耐”二字，在英文圣经中实际上分得更细，在不同的语意下用了四个不同的英文单词，即forbearance（忍）、endurance（耐力）、longsuffering（长期忍受）和patience（耐心）。我们根据语意和英文用词的不同，大致可以把上面圣经经文要我们学会忍耐的理由归为两大类：
1、我们面对的人是不完全的，我们面对的世界是充满罪恶和不公的，因宽恕不完全的人的需要、因坚守神的道需要，我们需要有忍受，需要有耐力去坚持。这时的经文英文多用的forbearance、endurance和longsuffering。如：
太10:22 並且你們要為我的名被眾人恨惡。惟有忍耐到底的必然得救。And ye shall be hated of all men for my name’s sake: but he that endureth to the end shall be saved.
羅3:25 神設立耶穌作挽回祭，是憑著耶穌的血，藉著人的信，要顯明神的義；因為他用忍耐的心寬容人先時所犯的罪，Whom God hath set forth to be a propitiation through faith in his blood, to declare his righteousness for the remission of sins that are past, through the forbearance of God
林後11:19 你們既是精明人，就能甘心忍耐愚妄人。For ye suffer fools gladly, seeing ye yourselves are wise.
帖前5:14 我們又勸弟兄們，要警戒不守規矩的人，勉勵灰心的人，扶助軟弱的人，也要向眾人忍耐。Now we exhort you, brethren, warn them that are unruly, comfort the feebleminded, support the weak, be patient toward all men.
彼前2:20 你們若因犯罪受責打，能忍耐，有什麼可誇的呢？但你們若因行善受苦，能忍耐，這在神看是可喜愛的。For what glory is it, if, when ye be buffeted for your faults, ye shall take it patiently? but if, when ye do well, and suffer for it, ye take it patiently, this is acceptable with God.
詩55:12-13原來不是仇敵辱罵我，若是仇敵，還可忍耐；也不是恨我的人向我狂大，若是恨我的人就必躲避他。13不料是你；你原與我平等，是我的同伴，是我知己的朋友!
2、我们自己也是充满罪性的，我们因为自己的缘故也需要学习忍耐。这时的经文英文多是用的patience（耐心）。如：
傳7:8 事情的終局強如事情的起頭；存心忍耐的，勝過居心驕傲的。 Better is the end of a thing than the beginning thereof: and the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit.
帖後3:5 願主引導你們的心，叫你們愛神，並學基督的忍耐。And the Lord direct your hearts into the love of God, and into the patient waiting for Christ
加5:22 聖靈所結的果子，就是仁愛、喜樂、和平、忍耐、恩慈、良善、信實、温柔、节制。But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, gentleness and self-control.
彼後1:6 有了知識，又要加上節制；有了節制，又要加上忍耐；有了忍耐，又要加上虔敬；And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness;
我们人想到“忍耐”时，多数是觉得是对方的过错而需要自己忍耐，但圣经明确告诉我们也因自己的原因需要忍耐，需要耐心（Patience）。实际上，圣经多数中文经文中的“忍耐”对应的是Patience（耐心）。那么我们自己可能因哪些弱点而特别需要学习忍耐呢？1）我们可能轻易发怒；2）我们本性上不愿饶恕宽待人；3）我们自私的欲望；4）我们可能没有节制；5）我们可能骄傲自大；还有哪些……？
3、忍耐是基督徒成全神的义，过圣洁的生活应有的重要品格
羅5:4 忍耐生老練，老練生盼望；And patience, experience; and experience, hope
羅8:25 但我們若盼望那所不見的，就必忍耐等候。But if we hope for that we see not, then do we with patience wait for it.
雅1:3 因為知道你們的信心經過試驗，就生忍耐。
西3:12 所以，你們既是神的選民，聖潔蒙愛的人，就要存（原文作穿；下同）憐憫、恩慈、謙虛、溫柔、忍耐的心。
太24:13 惟有忍耐到底的，必然得救。 But he that shall endure unto the end, the same shall be saved.
路21:19 你們常存忍耐，就必保全靈魂（或作：必得生命）。 In your patience possess ye your souls.
來10:36 你們必須忍耐，使你們行完了神的旨意，就可以得著所應許的。For ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise.
加5:22 聖靈所結的果子，就是仁愛、喜樂、和平、忍耐、恩慈、良善、信實、温柔、节制。
五、我们要用怎样的心情去忍耐？是不是带着怨恨去沉默？
路8:15 那落在好土裡的，就是人聽了道，持守在誠實善良的心裡，並且忍耐著結實。 But that on the good ground are they, which in an honest and good heart, having heard the word, keep it, and bring forth fruit with patience.
羅5:3 不但如此，就是在患難中也是歡歡喜喜的；因為知道患難生忍耐
林前13:4 爱是恒久忍耐又有恩慈
西1:11 照他榮耀的權能，得以在各樣的力上加力，好叫你們凡事歡歡喜喜的忍耐寬容
弗4:2 凡事謙虛、溫柔、忍耐，用愛心互相寬容，
因此，圣经不仅要求我们忍耐（有耐心），而且还要求我们用诚实善良、爱心宽容和有恩慈的心去欢欢喜喜地忍耐。但这些我们将在以后讨论。
六、小节
为了爱我们为什么需要学会有忍耐？1、我们面对的人和世界是罪性的，会有不公、有冤屈、甚至会给我们带来苦难……，我们需要宽恕、需要承受、需要坚守去面对，这需要我们有忍耐的品格；2、我们自己是不完美的，是罪性的，我们有贪欲、有怨怒、有自私、有骄傲、有愚顽……，我们需要学习对自己的忍耐和克制；3、忍耐是基督徒成全神的义，过圣洁的生活应有的重要品格。就像怀孕的女子等待生产，结实的树等待果子成熟，耶稣为成就救恩忍受痛苦和牺牲。
方金琪，2018-3-9，迦勒团聚小组讨论提纲。